5. Overcoming “Holiday Blues”
Overcoming “Holiday Blues”
Have you noticed yourself having a difficult time around the holidays? Are the holidays getting you feeling down, irritable, or isolative? You may be experiencing what is called the “Holiday Blues.” In this article, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping people overcome and heal from trauma will share some insights into how overcoming “Holiday Blues” can be a possibility for you!
Why don't the holidays feel joyful anymore?
Is there something wrong with me if I don't want to celebrate?
Why do I feel lonely even when I'm surrounded by people?
Why do I feel so down when everyone else around me seems happy?
Have you asked yourself these questions before? You may be experiencing what's often referred to as “Holiday Blues.” Some good news is that you can overcome and heal from this!
What are “Holiday Blues?”
“Holiday Blues” typically refer to feelings of sadness, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, anger, or other emotional reactions around the holiday season. This can differ from person to person based on their experiences around those certain holidays; however, “Holiday Blues” is when someone feels those negative emotions, rather than the joy, peace, excitement, or happiness that is typically associated with the holiday. Many people oftentimes will feel pressure to act or be happy or excited about the holidays, when in reality they’re feeling deep levels of sadness, grief, anxiety, or anger, which causes them to stuff their emotions down and make them feel even heavier.
How can I overcome the “Holiday Blues” that I’m experiencing?
I’m glad you asked! These feelings are difficult to experience, especially when your hope is to experience the joy that they may have made you feel at one point in your life. Here are some tips that can be helpful as you apply them:
Acknowledge your feelings: Your feelings matter! They’re valid! What you’re feeling during this time is hard and it’s okay to feel them. Naming the specific feelings that you have can be a very helpful first step in easing the weight that you may feel. Allow yourself and give yourself permission to feel those feelings and know that they exist for a reason and that it’s okay to feel them.
Simplify your expectations: Let go of the idea of “perfection” or making the holiday perfect or “what it should be” and allow yourself to readjust how you experience and celebrate that holiday. When trying to get your holiday groove back, the last thing you want to do is try to mold yourself to everyone else’s expectations. Figure out what you can handle and communicate that with those that you love and trust. You’ll oftentimes be surprised with how positively they’ll respond!
Prioritize connection with others: Reach out to those who you feel would be supportive and accommodating to your needs. Allowing them to know how you’re truly doing emotionally can make all of the difference. It can help you to feel less alone and more confident about being able to gain back your holiday joy little by little.
Maintain self-care routines: Self-care? Thinking about myself? Isn’t that selfish? Absolutely not! It’s important to take care of yourself in whatever way will help you to feel emotionally recharged! Think about it, it’d be better for you to take 30 minutes to go for a walk, breathe, and maybe listen to some music and have a more charged emotional battery, instead of trying to push through the discomfort and continue experiencing disconnection and more of those negative feelings. There’s nothing selfish about taking care of your emotional needs. If anything, it’s selfless because it’s helping you to become the best version of you that you can be and show up more emotionally connected for others!
Honor your losses: Whatever your losses may be, whether it’s a loved one, a lost or damaged relationship, a tragic event, it’s important to acknowledge what’s changed in your life and to allow yourself to be okay with the change. These changes are oftentimes really, really hard! Create some gentle rituals to help you acknowledge those changes, whether it’s listening to some specific songs on a playlist that you create, watch a specific movie, or eat ice cream in the snow. Do anything that can help you to feel the changes within yourself and your life, further accepting what is different for you and how you can move forward with greater hope and acceptance.
Set and maintain boundaries: Know what you feel comfortable with that will help you to feel emotionally safe and secure. Don’t fall into the trap of letting others sway you on just pushing yourself out of your boundary even a little bit. This isn’t about stretching yourself at this specific point in time. It’s about letting you feel your feelings and do what helps you to feel safe and comfortable with the holidays. If you don’t feel comfortable sleeping over at your family’s house because of different memories that are attached, you can kindly say that you’d love to be involved in the family activities and you’ll be staying at an Airbnb or hotel. If you don’t feel comfortable watching a specific movie because it triggers a lot of feelings and memories that are especially difficult for you, share with your friends or family that you’ve enjoyed spending time with them and that you’ll catch up with them after the movie or the next day. Setting and maintaining boundaries doesn’t need to sound or feel strict, but it’s important for you to hold to your boundaries until you feel ready to shift them around to your comfort level.
Seek support: You can find peace, feelings of calm, and reduced stress as you talk with and process through your feelings, memories, and experiences with a therapist. Allow them to be your sounding board to get these things off of your chest and not allow them to weigh you down further. You’d be surprised with how much more balanced you can feel after working through your experiences with someone who is professionally trained to help others work through what you’re experiencing. Don’t hesitate to reach out. Reaching out for professional help and support isn’t a weakness, it’s actually a great strength for your current and future self!
The “Holiday Blues” are not fun to experience and you don’t have to go through them alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, loved one, or seek professional help from a therapist to process (and even resolve) what you’ve been going through. You can get your holiday joy back! Healing takes one courageous step at a time. You’ve got this!
If you feel ready to start working toward finding healing, contact us for a free consultation! We’d be honored to be entrusted with walking with you through your journey.
