3. Debunking Myths About Trauma

Debunking Myths About Trauma

Have you been confused by the many mixed messages that there are about trauma? After years of hearing so many mixed ideas of what trauma is, I’m going to explore ways of debunking myths about trauma to help you learn the facts about what trauma is and how to more appropriately navigate it.

What is trauma?

Trauma is the result of only a BIG thing, right? It’s only related to abuse, war, or death, right? Wrong! There are many myths that go around the world and community about what trauma actually is and I hope to debunk some of the common myths that I hear about.

Myth: It is considered trauma only if a person has been through a big, life-threatening event.

This couldn’t be further from the truth! Trauma isn’t about only catastrophic events like war, abuse, or a large accident. Trauma is about how a person’s nervous system experiences and processes through an event. The person’s body holds onto different smaller events that can be just as negatively impactful as one major event. These types of smaller events can include, but are not limited to:

• Emotional neglect

• Bullying

• Repeated invalidation

• Dismissive behavior

• Abandonment

• Disapproving behavior

When these types of smaller events occur consistently over a lifetime, it can be just as, or even more, traumatic than if that individual experienced one major event, such as a car accident. These events tell the nervous system that it’s not safe when in the location that’s supposed to be a safe place to be, whether it’s at home, at school, at church, at the store, etc.

Myth: It didn’t affect you if you don’t remember it.

I hear this one a lot. Our brains are AMAZING. They protect us from harm, physical and/or emotional. This often comes through something called dissociating, which is the brain’s defense mechanism to temporarily detach from the body so that the brain doesn’t have to remember the traumatic event. This helps the brain to block those traumatic memories; however, as we hear a lot, the body keeps the score, which means that the body and emotions will still carry the event within itself. If someone doesn’t remember a traumatic event, know that it’s their brain doing its best to take care of them, protect them, and help them to not need to remember these difficult memories. That is something that they can explore and resolve when they feel ready to seek out professional assistance.

Myth: I can just tough it out and move on.

This is something that has been taught by so many for generations. This link in the chain can be broken! No one needs to or deserves to feel like they just need to tough it out and move on from something traumatic. Compassion and understanding is what helps someone to feel safe to work through their traumatic events and memories. Trauma changes the brain, body, and nervous system. With that in mind, it will take time to be able to receive the healing that helps them to feel whole again. For healing to occur, a person needs to feel safe, understood, and cared about.

Myth: It’s not trauma if you weren’t physically abused or affected.

Physical abuse or violence aren’t the only ways that trauma occurs. Other forms of abuse can be just as damaging as being physically abused, such as emotional abuse, neglect, coercion, sexual abuse, and other invisible forms of harm. Just because a person didn’t lay a hand on the victim doesn’t mean that they weren’t abusive. If a person has experienced someone else doing any of the following, they have experienced some form(s) of abuse/harm:

• Belittling

• Manipulation

• Gaslighting

• Stonewalling

• Constant criticism

• Threats

• Isolation from family, friends, or support system

• Yelling

• Withholding love, attention, or support

Researcher, Dr. John Gottman, has many wonderful resources that teach about these different types of trauma that individuals can experience in a relationship. He has named them as the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Myth: If you went through trauma, you have PTSD.

It is often heard, “that gave me PTSD.” As found in the Diagnostic manual, the DSM-V-TR, and from a trauma-focused lens, there can be many symptoms that someone forms due to trauma. Some people develop PTSD, others develop complex PTSD, while others show symptoms of anxiety, depression, dissociation, or relational struggles. Either way, trauma shows up in many other ways than just being diagnosed with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD isn’t a diagnosis to be taken lightly; however, it is something that is treatable once it has been identified. Through various forms of specific trauma therapies, healing is possible and lives can be restored.

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I hope that debunking these myths has been helpful and that you walk away with more information about the facts about trauma. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below or contact me. If you or a loved one has experienced any form of trauma, reach out! I’d love to walk this healing journey with you or them.

Click to find out more about how trauma therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), and neurofeedback can help you in your journey toward healing!

Click to learn about how partner support therapy can help you navigate ways to find personal support, as well as know how to better support your loved one who has experienced trauma.